I love youngins getting up into hijinxes.
“I forgot the coffee,” he said.
“Again?” She said.
Hobbes stood with his hands behind his back. His gaze shied away from the figure looking down at him.
Susie, legs dangling over her favorite pink, plastic stool, held her arms crossed. Her eyebrows furrowed as she rolled her eyes. “It’s the third time, Hobbes. I don’t think you’re as committed to our plan as you say.”
Hobbes moved his hands around in front of him frantically, deflecting away at the air as though her accusations were physically driving into him.
“N-no Susie, I just forgot again, I swear.”
Susie squinted for a moment, leaning forward to study his expression. Hobbes tensed up and continued to avoid eye contact. He wished to widen the distance between them so as to not reveal his true intentions but in the miniature, cozy bedroom they shared, it was futile. After what felt like an eternity, the sister eased back and sat straight again. Her hands laid gently on her lap.
“Well, it’s fine I guess.”
Hobbes gave a small sigh of relief. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up, he thought to himself.
“We’ll just go on ahead without it.”
Hobbes’ eyes nearly bulged out of their skull as, for the first time today, he looked clearly at Susie.
“Hold on Susie, maybe we should think it over, you know, go over the plan again? I don’t know if this is the best idea.”
“Susie, you need the coffee, the plan just won’t work without it! You need the look!”
“Susie, you’re an idiot.”
He imagined himself saying all of these things to her as his mind raced to come up with something, anything, to impede what was to come.
But his heart sank the moment he recognized her expression. Her cheeky smile and brightly lit eyes revved louder than any of his possible warnings. He knew that there was nothing he could say or do at this point that would change her mind.
For the past two weeks, the scrawny boy had been attempting to delay a disastrous event. A perilous plan. A catastrophic, calamitous idea concocted by his sister with no regard for his or her own safety. Susie had planned to drive their mother’s car.
“Why on earth would you possibly want to do this?” Hobbes exclaimed upon first hearing about this notion.
Susie grinned, giving him the same ol’ passionate look she has whenever she comes up with these preposterous ideas.
“Think about it Hobbes, what’s the one thing all the grown-ups do that makes them different from us?” She queried.
“Uh, there’s a lot of things,” Hobbes responded, “Work, chores, taxes?”
“No, gross.” Susie looked back at him in disgust. He dejectedly peered down. She continued, “They drive cars.”
Susie spread her arms out excitedly. Hobbes looked back with confusion.
“Okay… and what does that have to do with us?”
Susie beckoned at Hobbes to climb up onto the desk with her. They both looked out of her second floor bedroom window to see mother exit her driveway and move onto the suburban road.
“If we drive a car around, we’ll basically be just like mum and her clients!” Susie said.
“No, no, no, absolutely not,” Hobbes started anxiously, “How could you even think about this? Kids can’t drive cars!”
“You’re exactly proving my point Hobbes! They can’t!” Susie said eagerly. “So if we can, then mum will think we’re all grown up for sure!”
Hobbes tried to change tactics in an act of desperation. “Why do you want to be a grown-up anyways? You can have anything you want if you just ask.”
“Not everything.” She hesitated. “You don’t get it Hobbes. Mum’s busy all the time with her customers and stuff. She only talks to grown-ups, not kids like us! That’s why she doesn’t hang out with us.”
Hobbes wasn’t entirely convinced. “She hangs out with us all the time, Susie. She just has work and responsibilities you know, like an adult. She’s quite knackered when she gets home.”
Susie frowned. She switched gears. “Well, being a grown-up means we get to eat whatever we want! We can watch the telly for more than an hour and we wouldn’t need bedtimes anymore so we could hang out as much as we wanted.”
“…You mean we could watch Bluey for two whole hours?” Hobbes tentatively said.
Susie smiled, knowing that Hobbes was won over. “Exactly. But we have to do it exactly like mum or no one will take us serious. That means pulling out all the stops, her sunglasses, her suit, even her coffee!”
Hobbes, making a deal with his own devil, agreed. “Alright, fine. But we must get everything, ok?”
And so the two waited until Sunday to enact their plan. Sundays were the only days when Susie’s mother had time off from work, meaning the car would be in a prime position to be used. She was always so tuckered out from her strenuous job that she spent the entirety of Sunday relaxing. This would always entail an afternoon nap. This is what the two patiently waited for. At the sound of a single snore, Susie waved Hobbes forward.
“Go! Go!” Susie hissed.
Hobbes miserably carried the box containing their key items downstairs as Susie followed behind him, peering over the rails to make sure her mum wasn’t around. As they got into the garage Susie climbed onto Hobbes shoulders to gain enough height to unhook the keys from their rack on the wall. She clicked the unlock button and opened the driver seat’s door.
“There’s still time to think this through Su-”
“Shut your mouth and help me.”
Hobbes gingerly opened the box to pull out the brace Susie would go on to attach to her leg. It consisted of some sticks and plastic taped together crudely, but for the purpose of extending her reach to the pedal it worked fine. They had measured this last Tuesday so that it would fit perfectly. They then placed the box underneath her so that she could actually see over the wheel. Hobbes didn’t need one, as being taller than Susie allowed him to see beyond the windshield when sitting in the passenger seat. Susie turned the keys to start up the engine. Hobbes sat with his eyes shut, his face as pale as a ghost’s. He buckled his seatbelt and began to pray.
“My God, my everlasting word, please don’t let me die please don’t let me die please-”
“Quit your muttering Hobbes! Nothing’s going to go wrong! Stop being such a baby.”
Susie mimicked what her mother did everytime she brought her to school. She opened the glasses compartment at the top of the vehicle and put on the sunglasses. She used both hands to fidget with the rearview mirror, although she was unsure of what exactly she was supposed to do with it. She tried to grab onto the coffee in the cupholder but grasped nothing but air. She turned to Hobbes. He looked at her apologetically. Susie rolled her eyes and put the car in reverse, lightly pressing onto the pedal.
All things considered, nothing too bad happened. It helped that Susie was moving the car at the brisk pace of 2 miles an hour (which was quite fast in her mind) and Hobbes was freaking out the entire time about any possible obstacles, no matter how incredulous they would be.
“Susie the hydrant! The hydrant, Susie!” He would shout, referring to the object well over 10 meters away and placed firmly on the sidewalk.
“You’re swerving! My word, we’re gonna bloody die Susie!” He’d scream, as the blank, empty road offered nothing to collide into.
All Susie responded with was a hearty laugh as they began to cross into the opposite lane and back. She continued this wavy driving as she made two full right turns at the speed of a walking adult. Hobbes couldn’t stand it anymore and began covering his eyes with his hands. Thankfully, the streets were destitute of drivers. That was, until a familiar silver coloured Volkswagen emerged from the opposite side on their next street.
“Hey look, it’s Mr. Jenkins the ol’ bloke!”
Hobbes spread his fingers to peek out. He yammered nervously once again, “W-what are we going to do! He’s going to look in and see that it’s not mum!”
“That’s fine!” Susie said cheerfully.
Before Hobbes could comprehend what she said, the two vehicles crossed by each other.
Susie rolled down the window to speak with the friendly elder in the neighborhood. “Hello Mr. Jenkins!”
“Hello Susie!” Mr. Jenkins cheerfully responded back as they passed each other. A good three seconds would go by before Mr. Jenkins would make a double take and turn around, eyes agape.
No, my mind must be playing tricks on me, he thought, Goodness me, I need to sleep more. He briskly drove home, not giving it another thought because really, how ridiculous is the notion that you would pass by two children driving a car?
Eventually the two kids made their fourth right turn, placing them on the same street they started on. Susie carefully placed the car back onto the driveway, using a considerable amount of time and precision to leave it at a perfect extreme diagonal slant. The moment the car came to a stop, Hobbes opened the door and got on all fours against the ground, kissing the cement.
“I thought I’d never see you again.” He cried.
“Hobbes, you’re acting very childish right now.” Susie said as she placed the glasses back into their compartment and gracefully exited. “Let’s go tell mum about how grown-up we are now!”
She raced into the living room. Upon slamming the door open, her mother began to stir into fruition.
Her mother yawned as she saw the blur that was her child race into her arms. “Oh goodness me!” She exclaimed as Susie hopped onto her lap. She frazzled her head with her hand. “Have a fun day so far dear?”
“Only the greatest!” Susie replied, “Me and Hobbes drove the car all around town! We had sunglasses and coffee just like you and your customers.”
Hobbes walked into the room with a sulk and sat a bit away from Susie.
“Oh really?” Ms. Penney responded with a smile, wrapping her arm around Hobbes to bring him closer into fray. “Why don’t you tell me all about your little joyride?”
Susie gave a great smile as she recounted her exciting and dangerous venture. As much joy as the ride gave her, sitting in the living room with her mom listening to her was infinitely more fun.
